Pork Belly and I have been known to partner up on a pedalo, paddle our own canoe or even take a trip down a canal in a narrow-boat.
That last one turned into the most accident-prone holiday of our lives (that’s a tale for another day) and now I like it better when someone else does the steering.
So I was delighted when the captain welcomed us aboard the Southern Comfort Paddle Boat on the Norfolk Broads at Horning with these words: ‘The Broads here are no more than 6 feet deep so if we sink the people on the top deck probably won’t even notice. Those down below will simply get their feet wet.’
When the weather is fine you know it’s the time
For messin’ about on the river
His announcement set the tone for the next, most relaxing hour and a half trip.
Cruising the Norfolk Broads
The Southern Comfort has been running trips down the River Bure, past the nature reserve at Ranworth Broad and on to Malthouse Broad for years.
In fact Pork Belly let slip that he ran the disco on board for a few private parties in the early eighties.
But for one reason or another we’ve never done the tourist thing and taken one of the sightseeing trips.
If you take my advice there’s nothing so nice
As messin’ about on the river
On a typical English summer’s day we took our seats on the top deck in glorious sunshine, but with heavy storm clouds brewing.
The skies are wide in Norfolk, especially on the Broads, so the view is of almost uninterrupted reed beds, the occasional windmill, church towers rising up from the marshland and snug-looking waterside houses.
Some are holiday homes, with their own exclusive moorings.
Others are privately owned with beautifully laid out grounds and interesting outdoor art work.

Swallows and Amazons on the Norfolk Broads
The local church has its own riverside access and many of the houses, with reed thatched roofs, have been there for years.
Arthur Ransome often stayed here, sailing with his fellow enthusiasts and drawing on his experiences for books in the Swallows and Amazons series.
The Broads look entirely natural but are in fact man made.
Somewhere between the 9th and 12th centuries, as wood became scarce, villagers turned to another natural resource, peat, to keep themselves warm.
Peat digging became a prosperous industry and those early Norfolk folk went hard at it, until sometime in the 14th century nature took her revenge.
The water level rose, the old diggings were flooded and 200km of waterways appeared almost overnight.
Undeterred the locals simply turned their attention to navigation, helping the landlocked city of Norwich grow as a centre of commerce by linking it to the port at Great Yarmouth.
Today the Broads are a popular destination for family holidays, stay-cationers and anyone who wants a slower pace of life.
Living on The Broads has its challenges and many of the older houses need masses of work to keep them from sinking slowly into the boggy ground.
Birdwatching on the Norfolk Broads
The Broads are heaven for birds, bees, butterflies and the occasional water mammal, but on a steadily chugging paddle boat you have to be quick to spot them.
Despite binoculars and our experienced bird-watching companion Mrs Oystercatcher, all we got was a glimpse of a heron in flight and a cluster of delightful grebes.
There’s big boats and wee boats and all kinds of craft
Puffers and keel boats and some with no raft
But it’s the fellow boaters who provide most of the entertainment.
Day-trippers in hired boats cheerfully wave as we pass.
Families, with kids and dogs securely held, smile as they bob in our wake.
Stag parties and hen nights salute us with prosecco and beer.
Fishing folk sit peacefully on the banks while families with young children hurl snacks to the passing ducks and swans.
Wherries on the Norfolk Broads
There are energetic canoeists and kayak-ers powering smoothly through the calm waters.
Experienced yachting folk are a marvel to observe, expertly tacking and right-abouting in our wake.
It’s also a safe stretch of water for beginners and our captain had a handful of amusing mishaps to relate.
Most elegant of all was the restored traditional Norfolk Wherry, Albion, gliding silent and stately.
These huge brown-sailed boats with a shallow keel date from the 1600s and were traditionally used for hauling perishable goods and passengers across the waterways.
Now a few remain, privately owned or run by charities, and can be chartered.
With the wind in your face there’s no finer place
Than messin’ about on the river
Holidays on the Norfolk Broads
If you’re a real boating fanatic then a holiday on the Norfolk Broads is great fun and public moorings are usually free, although hard to find in high season.
But be warned – the pace of life is incredibly slow, strict speed limits are in place to protect the wildlife and waterways and you can’t see much of the surrounding countryside because of the towering reed-beds.
Frankly it’s the watery equivalent of hiring a van and driving around until you find a nice looking pub to stop at.
Sitting on the top deck of a slow-moving paddle-boat, drink in hand. waving graciously to passing craft, listening to pleasantly informative commentary and gentle jazz. That’s the way to do it!
More information about boating on the Norfolk Broads
The Southern Comfort runs trips every day from March to November, with evening cruises on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the summer months. Wheelchairs are welcome and can be wheeled aboard.
Prices in 2023 are £10 per adult, £8.00 for children with discounts for concessions and groups.
There are several companies offering boating holidays on the Norfolk Broads and should you fancy a trip on the Albion the Norfolk Wherry Trust has more information.
If we’ve whetted your appetite for a holiday on The Broads there’s more information on Norfolk Broads.com website and a list of pubs and restaurants on the riverbank can be found on Tour Norfolk.
For more information about the Broads National Park, take a look at the Visit Norfolk website
Feature image Southern Comfort paddle boat on the river Bure Horning, Norfolk © John Stratford (CC BY 2.0)
Where to next?
• 8 Haunted Hotels in Sussex
• Quirky seaside towns – Bognor Regis
• The Manor at Hemingford Grey













