We’re heading to Bognor Regis on the West Sussex shoreline.
With beach huts, wooden piers jutting out into the sea, candyfloss and kiss-me-quick hats, the seaside towns of Britain have a long and happy history.
Big draw names like Brighton, Blackpool and Bournemouth have their charms but there are dozens of other places all around the coast where you can get a hefty dose of Vitamin Sea – and something a little eccentric on the side.
Beautiful Bognor Regis
Bognor’s meant to be the sunniest town in Britain, which is great, but just remember the sea breezes on the south coast can take your breath away, even in the height of summer.
Bognor’s long been popular with holiday-makers, the first real tourists arriving in the 18th century, encouraged by Sir Richard Hotham, an East India merchant responsible for the development of Bognor as a seaside resort.
He put time, effort and all his money into building a home there, with sweeping seaviews and a gorgeous garden. His Georgian mansion still stands, now converted into privately owned flats, and the grounds are the public space called Hotham Park.
Sir Richard built an ice-house so he could entertain on a lavish scale. Once within the estate walls, it now stands a little outside the park on London Road.
As so often happens with benefactors, Sir Richard never really saw his dreams of aristocratic patronage realised, although minor royals did stay in the town occasionally. But it never caught on the way Brighton did.
Royal approval
Sir Richard would have been thrilled to learn that King George V convalesced from surgery there in the late 1920s. That’s how the town gained the ‘Regis’ part of its name, although the monarch reportedly said ‘Bugger Bognor!’ when the petition was presented.
An alternative tale is that he said those infamous words on his death-bed, when he was told he’d soon be able to return there. Nobody really believes that story, but it definitely adds to the town’s quirky reputation.
Butlin’s holiday camp opened in Bognor in 1960, beginning a trend in affordable seaside fun in the town that continues to this day.
And as COVID restricts our travel options abroad, Bognor could be heading for a new lease of life.
6 quirky things to see in Bognor Regis
Meet Boris the engine
Hotham Park is nine hectares of tranquil gardens, playgrounds, adventure golf, woodland, a boating lake and a nature conservation area.
But the main attraction is the delightful miniature railway that trundles through the trees, packed with families and pulled by the small but sturdy Boris.
Movies at the Picturedrome
Bognor’s cinema was installed in 1886, and a lot of its Victorian architecture survives today. Outside is a gorgeous iron-and-glass canopy with a stained glass sign. The main entrance is currently boarded up but they plan to re-open again soon.
Inside you’ll find an original staircase and auditorium, a pay desk from 1919 and the boxes either side of the proscenium arch which date from 1911.
The leather seats are really comfortable and ticket prices are great value.
A moveable fountain
As Britain geared up for Queen Victoria’s Jubilee celebrations, one Bognor chemist was worried that visitors to the town, especially children, didn’t have access to clean drinking water.
James Hughes, who had a shop in West Street, thought a drinking fountain on the promenade would be ideal and started a fund to raise the money.
On July 6th 1898 the fountain was unveiled, at a cost of one hundred and eleven pounds, as part of the Jubilee celebrations.
Later it was moved to Victoria Square, then on to Hotham Park, where it lay in pieces until the late 1960s. Another fund-raising campaign brought the fountain back to the promenade, at the end of the Steyne.
It still stands today, but sadly no longer dispenses water for thirsty tourists.
Fly like a Birdman
One of the quirkiest annual events has to be the International Birdman Rally.
The competition involves humans attempting to fly off the end of a pier into the sea for prize money.
Competitors range from inventors with home-built machines, serious aviators flying hang-gliders and crazy people in fancy dress with no actual flying ability.
It’s sometimes cancelled due to bad weather, rough seas (and pandemics) and was moved recently to Worthing while Bognor Pier is being renovated, but hopefully will return to Bognor in 2022.
Grandad’s Front Room
This is the charity shop to end all charity shops.
Run by volunteers it sells quirky, vintage and retro items with every penny going to support the local community.
Take a moment to read the labels – you’ll find something to chuckle over in the best traditions of seaside postcard humour!
Sand on the shingle
As with most south coast beaches, sand is in short supply at Bognor, unless the tide is a long way out.
Despite the stones the beaches are great for families. In summer you have lifeguards, deckchair hire and plenty of ice-cream and drinks stands. In winter it’s quiet and beautiful.
But if you can’t bear a beach without a sandcastle or two, they’ve created a good-sized sandpit called ‘Beach on the Beach- – a sandy area dedicated to the bucket-and-spade brigade.
And finally…..
On your way to or from Bognor it’s worth a stop in Littlehampton to park your backside on Britain’s longest bench.
This colourful community project snakes its way along the prom, starting and ending with sinuous sculptures and taking detours around lamposts and bins.
Places to eat in Bognor Regis
As with most British seaside towns there’s a whole range of snack bars and beachside eateries and the prom smells tantalisingly of chips and doughnuts.
Trip Advisor rates the following as the best places for a bite.
• Chez Moi for European dishes
• Mustards for British and European cuisine
• The Mezze for Turkish style BBQ
• Little London Tea Shop, a traditional English café
• Fino Italian restaurant
Due to COVID restrictions we’ve been unable to sample any of the above for ourselves, but we can heartily recommend Pinks Parlour for ice-cream made fresh on the premises every day.
Pork Belly’s raspberry ripple and white chocolate were both deliciously creamy. My vegan coconut scoop was great but best of all was the green apple sorbet – smooth, rich and delightfully decadent.
Where to next?
• The Manor at Hemingford Grey
• 8 reasons to visit Whitstable
• Island Life – Orkney